Religious/spiritual abuse is a real thing and I am going to talk about it! Â
Most people probably think that religious abuse is mainly about pedophile priests and such, but that is not the religious abuse I am going to be talking about. I am talking about the day to day narcissistic behavior that is very common in religion and how it is crippling and destroying humanity. The very institution whose goal is supposed to be to connect people to God is more often than not promoting the exact opposite. Whenever someone or some organization/institution uses fear, privilege, rank, power, manipulation, humiliation, separation, superiority, etc. to control other people, we have abuse. This can be done in a very subtle manner and with the best of intentions, but it is still abuse! Unless we become aware of it, we will continue to do great harm.
Because I lived through years of religious abuse, I am going to use lots of my own examples as well as stories from hundreds of others who have told me their stories to breakdown and examine religious abuse that is widespread today. For years I lived in shame regarding my story, but now I see it for what it is and I know that I am called to help others NOT experience the same hurt, pain, and tragedy that I did.
I can honestly admit now that my son died because of the results of religious abuse. This is hard for me to write, but it is true! I know that I had a part in it and I made decisions that ultimately affected the outcome of his life, however, I also know that those decisions were made with the only information I knew – and that was religion filled with fear, manipulation, and control.
ABUSE: GOD LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY….. BUT UNLESS YOU BELIEVE ALL THE RIGHT STUFF (what we tell you to believe), DO ALL THE RIGHT STUFF (what we have decided you must do) …… LIVE THE RIGHT WAY (the way we have decided is the only correct way), ….. GOD WILL BURN YOU IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY! (Anyone notice the fear, manipulation, and control here?) And what happens when you tell this to children or when this is the message that your religion is conveying – maybe even without using words?
This is the message I heard, whether spoken or not, as a child and it literally traumatized me for most of my life! And I can tell you that I am not the only one! And I spent a good portion of my life trying to learn how to love and please a God that felt more like a monster.
(Now before people go jumping on my page with isolated scripture (meant to induce fear) and scripted prayers that I need to recite (to keep me from being deceived), know that you will just be proving my point.) I have heard most all of your comebacks and rebuttals and I will get to those in due time. If you don’t like this or can’t handle it, feel free to unfriend or unfollow me; I won’t mind. Just don’t be cruel.
Now I can assure you, God is not a monster and He does not operate out of fear, manipulation, and control. My husband and I do a lot of relationship counseling and believe me, people who have relationships like this are miserable and they don’t last. Maybe this is what your relationship with God looks like, but not mine! God has never presented himself to me in this way – it was always people telling me that this how God is – and it always left me in pain and torment; without any hope. And do you know what? When I worked as a Chaplain in a hospital, most of the people I talked with in the mental health ward were experiencing this same torment and pain from religious abuse; it was often the very reason why they were there!
I have so much more to say about all of this – but I will pace myself. I will try to slowly expose examples of religious abuse so that we can learn and grow and avoid more harm. I do have a tendency to get a little intense and carried away in my passion, so please give me some grace!!!
If you find this helpful or interesting, please like my page and follow me on social media!
Many blessings to you!!! You are loved and will aways be enough!
God loves you unconditionally, period!
0 Comments