TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY….. and I have so many FEELS going on!!!
This past year was one of the best years of my life.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY – For the first time ever, this year I was able to let go of all the shame, torment, & resulting trauma that was heaped upon me through religion over the years (even though I really didn’t have much to be shameful for). I was also able to let go of all the fear and the crazy codependency that is fostered by the religious system. I was able to fully accept and love myself for ALL that I am – the good, the bad, and the ugly! I learned to let go of the people and things that were not serving me or my growth – thank you, yoga!!! I was also able to embrace my authentic self and let others embrace me as well. (By others, I am sad to report that it was not typically the religious that embraced me – which is one of the HUGE problems with religion.)
PEACEFUL PEACEFUL PEACEFUL – I now live with the realization of the fullness of God inside of me! I am one with the divine! I am beautiful inside and out regardless of what other’s think. I do not have to wonder, guess, or judge whether or not I am good or loved. I do not need anybody else’s approval to be okay. I am enough! I am amazing! I am love!
FREE FREE FREE – I am free to be me! I am free from the manipulation and control of religion. I am free to love myself and love others unconditionally. I do not have to be the judge. I can laugh! I can dance! I can be wild and crazy! I have met beautiful, wonderful people along the way this year and am honored to call them my tribe!
But the other feels that are going on are:
SADNESS SADNESS SADNESS – I am saddened that as a whole of humanity, it seems that we do not learn very quickly; that we still have so far to go; that we are still creating boxes and division, separation and judgement, fear and control over others. I have found that my story is not an isolated one. I meet people almost daily struggling with the same destructive religious conditioning that I experienced and the trauma of it is killing them.
PAIN PAIN PAIN – (I don’t dwell here too long.) What could life have been like without that fear, manipulation, and control? How might I have responded to life differently? Would it have changed some of the decisions I made? Would my son be here with me today? (BTW – Happy Heavenly Birthday, Cole! – You would have been 25 tomorrow!!! (Oh the tears…..). Buddy, I love you!!! You are my biggest hero, my greatest accomplishment, and my most tragic failure!)
HOPE HOPE HOPE – People are waking up; people are done with the hate; people are ready for a better way! It is beautiful to see many many people waking up to the oneness we share with our creator; waking up to love; waking up to truth! With today’s technology and access, it is harder to stay in the dark. I so look forward to the day that all humanity wakes up to our oneness with each other and with God.
This journey has been hard, but it has been so worth every ounce of energy it took.
Farewell to the year gone by – Hello to the year that is come!
IT IS GOING TO BE A GOOD ONE!!!
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