Welcome to Week #1 of our Journey to Living Fully Alive
The Lie: There are dark places within us that WE have to fix or clean up
If you had a chance to read our stories, you will have discovered that the journey to ‘Living Fully Alive’ for us was really all about our hearts. We tend to believe that this is also true for every human being on the planet. Our hearts or our spirit (words that are often used interchangeably), were designed from the beginning to be known and to be loved.
Our greatest desire is to be known and to be loved by God first. We want to know that He is pleased with us and desires to have a relationship with us. But when the things that we are taught and the experiences that we have, seem to speak the opposite (that He can not be pleased with us unless we are perfect and He can not be with us if we make a mistake) – our hearts are crushed.
We spent most of our lives hating ourselves because we did not feel like we could ever be good enough to be loved by God or that for some reason He had not chosen us or did not want us, or maybe we had too many dark places inside of us to be accepted or worthy of love.
If you too, are like us, you may feel like you have some “dark places” that prevent you from receiving love. The most common examples of “dark places” are:
- Failures – mistakes, poor choices, bad behavior, addictions
- Imperfections – lack of motivation, natural desires, appearance, lack of giftings or talent, not being enough, not being able to measure up
- Priorities – lack of diligence in spiritual disciplines, putting relationships & money before God, not loving others well, not being able to accomplish dreams or tasks
- Body – negative emotions, unhealthy lifestyle, bad cravings, shape & size of your body, hormones, sexual desires, PMS, sickness
- Mind – destructive thinking, crazy thoughts, imagination
It is sad to realize that we have actually been taught to believe that God is not present in these so called darkened areas of our existence. If we believe God is not present in these areas of our life, and God is Love, then we will keep love from these areas of ourselves that need it the most. It is even sadder when we realize that the result of starving ourselves of love is living with disunity within ourselves, shame, guilt, condemnation, pain, and exhaustion. And how were we taught to deal with this pain? If you are like us, you were taught to find a way to fix yourself, hide your real self while keeping it all together, or deny the pain altogether by throwing a scripture at it – until one day you eventually explode and break down.
If any of this resonates with you, we want you to know that you are not alone. We see your pain. We have experienced similar pain. And we agree – IT SUCKS – and how we have been taught to deal with it does not work. Irregardless if anyone else believes your pain is real, rational, or justified – we want to validate you today and tell you that if it’s real to you then it is affecting your ability to live fully alive and therefore extremely important to process through. We are here to say ENOUGH to striving, just surviving, pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, numbing the pain, and escapism that has become “normal life” as a result of the lie that there are dark places within you, where God is not present, that you need to fix. We believe validating the pain, letting LOVE into these seemingly dark places of ourselves, and interacting with the truth are the first steps on your journey to living fully alive!
The Truth: Because of Jesus, there are no more dark places within you. You are in a very present, active, living union with God thanks to the incarnation, life and death of Jesus. You are completely liberated from sin. You are perfect – body, soul, and spirit – whether you know it or not. Sanctification is not a process of lifelong soul cleansing. Christ accomplished sanctification singlehandedly.
Starting the Journey: We would like to invite you now to validate the pain that this lie/belief has caused you personally. We want you to dive into your heart and expose the pain – the only way to get to the other side of it is to walk through it.
Listen to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WnAq0o2Xl8
Talk to your heart and journal, write, or verbally process out your pain & frustration. (Stick to how the pain has made you feel and the affect it has had on your life. We aren’t targeting the people who caused you pain, we are focusing on the feelings and letting them be released. Allow yourself to feel the pain and grieve what has been stolen from you as a result of the pain. Give your body an outlet to discharge the pain.)
Amanda’s example: I feel so rejected! I hate this! I am so afraid to reach out, give myself fully, be present, and risk in relationship. I am so afraid that if I am really seen and known that no one could love me – I mean I don’t love me so how can anyone else. Rejection has made me hate myself and hide myself. I feel no real intimacy because rejection has caused the real me to melt away. I can’t be perfect, I’ve tried. I can’t be lovable all the time, I tried that too. I don’t know how to not be rejected and not feel rejected. I am so tangled up in these feelings and it has stolen all of my joy. I feel exhausted and love starved. Everything triggers me these days and I can’t seem to escape the shame and guilt I have for even feeling rejected in the first place! I know I am supposed to feel loved by God, but I just don’t!
Kami’s example: When life gets tough and I forget what I am doing and why I am doing it, I let my mind go wild with all kinds of crazy negative thoughts. I get very passionate and say things like, “Life sucks! I am done playing this stupid game called LIFE! If it is up to us to figure it all out, to get everything right, to be perfect, we are all screwed!”
Now it is time to let love in!!!
Using the examples above, it could look like this:
Amanda’s example: “Rejected self, I see you! I hear your pain! I am so sorry that I have let these lies and these feelings prevent you from receiving love. I have used guilt, shame, and fear to punish you instead of loving you. I am sorry for calling you dark when you were just needing love and acceptance. Today, I call you lovely! I accept you exactly the way you are. You are worthy of love!”
Kami’s example: “Kami – I love that you are such a passionate person! Whether feeling on top of the world or down in the dumps – you’re character remains – YOU ARE BEAUTIFULLY PASSIONATE!! You put your whole body, soul, and spirit into the emotion of YOU!!! You are amazing and beautiful, stunning and confident, sexy and passionate!!! – YOU GO, GIRL!!!”
Prayer: Father God, we invite you today into our process, into our pain, into what we have called the “dark places,” but you have called “lovely.” We partner with Holy Spirit as He teaches us to fill those places with Love. We trust that You are faithful in this process to do all that You said that You would do in your word!
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